Out of Egypt

Sometimes, when my foreign-ness smacks me in the face I think I'll never escape this perpetual pendulum of wanting to fit in and not wanting to to fit in because, so what?

Every once in a while I battle these thoughts that in some way or another, I'm just not cutting it. Yet the voice of God is not condemning. Every once in a while and sometimes more often than not, I get anxious about stuff that I'm supposed to enjoy and His Word says to be anxious for nothing, just let Him know what's on my mind and He'll lead me to peace.

I was swimming in all this especially after my journey to Hungary last spring and back to Jamaica in May. I wrote this then and it has become one of my reminders that Jesus is my deliverer and He is my friend. Today, I am remembering.

Out of Egypt
I've been a little apprehensive to cast my net from this boat
I've been stumbling in a pressing crowd
Afraid to reach out and touch your cloak.

But I'll keep missing every sunrise
If I don't face the dark before sweet dawn
And I cannot walk on water
When I'm busy building bricks out of straw.

Lead my mind out of Egypt
Pour your thoughts into my heart
Your hand stretched out, take it or leave it
Patience, walk me back from start.

No corners on the road to freedom
Shackles strewn along the side
In a thousand shapes and sizes
Mark milestones passed in time.

You cautiously unearth deep roots, lifting rocks with movements kind
Revealing underneath a soil that's tender
In these trapped pieces of my mind.

You're the warrior who clears the path before me
Pointing out that I carry too much
Wise to let me choose my footing
You're the gentle one who picks me up

And leads my mind out of Egypt
Pours truth into my heart
You liberate tied up emotions
Giving life and love fresh start.